This was written on 03-25-19 @ 11pm-ish
As I mentioned to the IE-SD Slack chat, I *finally* got back to the project page. I got there years ago, and made it on my teenage crush Brandon Boyd. That embarrassing little nugget lives on codepen.io.
But I experienced some legit panic when I looked at the project on Sunday, cuz real talk… I forgot ALL OF THE BASICS. It’s been so long since I’ve even had to set up a page!!
There’s a part of me that was going to start reaching out to people but someone in the FCC Slack chat posted this and it made me pause for a bit because I’ve been dealing with this… funk a lot lately.
Lately, I’ve been having a hard time with being wrong– or uninformed or not being able to make good inferences, or whatever. Since leaving Chicago, I’ve had to learn two jobs —at the same time–that have very precise directions. There are usually immediate consequences involved when you don’t follow the directions at work and one way or another the customer suffers because they’re not being serviced accurately and efficiently. I’ve had both of these jobs for a year now so there’s been a good deal of note taking, workflow forming, and flat out crying when I feel dumb. To be honest, you’d think that I would be better at dealing with these feelings, but really, I’m not. It’s taken a lot of tools to reign in runaway emotions and straight up panic attacks to be where I’m at right now.
So after some breathing and talking out loud about the things I forgot, I told my husband that this is likely going to keep happening. At some point in my development career, someone is going to ask me to do something that I’ve done before, but cannot remember. The better I get at understanding how to code, the more I’ll need to learn how to dig around for solutions.
So that’s what I did. I went on W3school and one by one knocked out the *minimum* requirements for the tribute project. Just going one by one until the test script climbed up and read 10/10– and YAY, it fucking worked.
I’m going to call it a night. Tomorrow, I can focus on making it pretty.
After talking to the co-owner at the MITS company, I’ve decided to dabble again. This time, I’m going through some free CompTIA A+ certification prep materials to see if I could transition into the MITS side of the house. Whenever I stumble across things like this I always wish I could go back in time and tell younger me to change my intended major to Computer Science or something.
I’m happy to say that I feel super supported at my job. Some of my coworkers think that me preparing before even being approved to take on extra tasks at work is overkill. That I’ll be great because half of it is googling/following procedure and the other half is just knowing how to talk to people— the obvious joke being that the techs are not very good at the latter, but TBH the people here are no more awkward than any other workplace I’ve been in. I’m going to keep studying either way. I want to be great at this and have zero personal or professional experience… aside from using a steak knife to disassemble my old HP ProBook to unplug/replug the keyboard ribbon–SO to ease my own anxieties, I need to know that I know what I’m talking about. There are so many articles out there about sexism in STEM and at the moment, I don’t think that that will be a problem in my current workplace but when I eventually move on, I need to know that I’m just as qualified as anyone else to be in these spaces.
Anyway, I’ve gotten some good PC parts from recycling days and managed to score a Dell Optiplex 9010. The processor is a few years old, but it’ll still run faster than my laptop. I was so excited I put a blank HHD in and hooked it up to a few peripherals to make it into the BIOS and then used a Linux USB to watch it boot up. Today I’m going to install windows and hopefully begin moving things over to make it my main workstation. Then I can finally refresh my laptop. It’s been YEARS. The laptop doesn’t have an optical drive which is a first to me in addition to Dell’s UEFI method of reformatting your PC.
I’m gonna hug her extra tight cuz she’s been through the tail end of my BA with me and all of my dalliances into coding meet-ups. Let’s hope for the best.